Reasons I Should Not Kill Myself

1. Once when I was walking around 21st and 5th, I saw a man across the street. He was not a normal man. He was a man dressed in a "Flava-Flav" costume he had made himself. Out of naked, unpainted cardboard. He appeared to be alone. It was not Halloween.

2. Once on a particularly awful NYC evening I was waiting for the L at Union Square. I was severely depressed. Then all the sudden, I saw him. A large clown. He ambled toward me, big shoes and all. My mood went from suicidal, to unshakable fear, and finally to good humor, in about ten seconds flat.